There’s something about the first few days of the year that brings with it a sense of newness, a fresh beginning – as well as, for me, a sense of indescribable pressure, to be
At the beginning of last year, I set the goals of travelling more, saving more and trying to step out of my comfort zone. At
Last year, at the time of writing my ‘goals‘ post, I was in a pretty unhappy relationship, with a guy that had cheated on me the month before, suffering from severe anxiety that I was trying my absolute best to suppress in any way I possibly could. Note how I mentioned none of that in my goals post – a reminder to myself of the persona we create online versus life itself. I was finding everything really difficult, and I couldn’t see past any of it. Fast forward a couple of months, I had ended my relationship and things had got so crappy in terms of my mental health that I fell apart. Cue me quitting my job, not leaving the house for a few months and slowly eating into my savings in order to support myself.
Not exactly how I had planned the first six months of the year to go, but that doesn’t matter now, all that matters is that I survived. And that in itself is something to be proud of – I got back into work, with people that I love, formed an incredible relationship with my dad which I never saw happening this time last year, and ended up meeting my best friend and boyfriend, who not only supports any wobbles I may have, but also encourages me to write and builds my confidence in ways no one ever has in the past. While the year started out as the worst, it ended as one of the best, and I’m genuinely excited for 2019.
So what if I didn’t travel? While there were so many times that I wanted to run away from everything, leaving my bedroom or the flat was a huge success for me in itself when my anxiety was at its worst. There’s always this year, or next year, or the year after to explore – the world isn’t going anywhere fast, and I’ve found someone that I genuinely want to
And so what if I didn’t save as much as I had hoped? Unemployment sucked, and so did money being tight, but the timeout was exactly what I needed, as was cognitive behavioural therapy, and I cannot put a price on being happier and healthy. Money can be replaced, but I can’t.
And so what if I didn’t step out my comfort zone in ways I had planned? I may not have gone to pubs or clubs more often, something I still rarely enjoy, but I spoke out about my mental health, I blogged about dating and my body confidence grew enormously – something so little to some people, but for me, such a huge achievement. Hunkemöller lingerie is not only incredibly made and super comfortable – the real key to any girls heart when it comes to lingerie, as let’s be honest, no one wants the circulation to their upper half cut off – but so gorgeous that you can’t help but feel confident wearing it. In fact, I’m the most confident version of me, and I’m determined to keep working on that..
And that’s exactly what I plan to do in the New
2019 will be different, and the first year in which I don’t set traditional New Year’s Resolutions. Instead, this year, I want to be happy. Not the entire year – imagine an entirely happy year, your serotonin levels would be through the roof and it would probably give me a headache – but I want to look back on the year and think of it as one in which I was happy. This year, I want to make decisions with my own happiness in mind and best interests at heart. We all deserve to be a little selfish, and it’s time I put myself first. Next year, I want to look back on this post and feel no guilt for things I haven’t achieved and dread settings goals for the year to come – and instead, feel a sense of pride knowing that this was the year I did ‘me’
Here’s to a confident and proud and inspired 2019 – and this year, I actually mean it
What do you hope to achieve in 2019? Do you ever feel the pressure of the New Year?
Hunkemöller kindly gifted me the lingerie – all opinions are still my own!