Drowning In A World Of Self Love…

self love

“Self-consciousness” – An undue awareness of one’s actions, one’s appearance, or one’s self…

It’s the feeling that you’re being judged for wearing shorts, even in extremely warm heat. It’s the feeling that you might swallow your tongue, while ordering food in a restaurant. It’s the feeling that everyone is staring at you, and only you – your actions, your voice, your body…

What happens to a girl, in a world of body positivity and self love, who is yet to learn to love herself?

I look on at my reflection in the mirror – ‘love yourself’ running through my mind – and I think, I can’t; maybe not ever, but definitely not yet! My thighs are thick, my stomach chubby, my nose slightly too podgy to be classed as a ‘cute, button nose’…

It’s painful to admit, but it really does affect every aspect of your life – from your friendships, to your relationships, to your family – the thoughts that you are not as amazing and not as worthy as everyone else, lingers constantly at the back of your mind! Your family, friends, partners, telling you that “you’re just being silly”, and yet, nothing changes…

It’s something that I’ve struggled with for a ridiculously long time, and something I fear will never go away! I’ve tried to change, physically, but psychologically, my mind set stays the same…

I, personally, have made improvements! Silly as it may sound, I used to hate my height and subsequently, the size of my feet – I, for years, hated the fact that I was the tallest in my year group, and that my friends were all so petite and perfect… However, I’m 5’8 and I love it!

Social media now-a-days is constantly filled with ideas and thoughts of self love – body positivity is everywhere, and girls of all ages are embracing their bodies, which is, of course, absolutely amazing! Instagram is packed full of bikini-beach shots, underwear selfies and videos of girls dancing in their underwear, and it’s difficult to convince yourself that you are just as amazing as the girls that fill your feed..

However, just because you’re not ‘quite’ at that stage of self love yet – if a bikini shot on social media still sends shivers down your spine – does not mean that you have failed yourself… After years of struggling and fighting with your own thoughts, it’s a hard task to learn to love the ‘real you’!

If you’ve already learn to love yourself, I am so proud – be sure to encourage those around you, and teach them your ways! If you’re still learning to love yourself – and many of us still are – however far you’ve come, your journey so far, is something in itself to be proud of and may your journey ahead be calm and refreshing and short…

‘You are amazing, and so, so worthy!’

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