As a pre-warning, this is going to be a super long and probably more rambly post than I would’ve liked, but I very much feel like it’s needed. I would suggest grabbing yourself a cuppa, or a glass of wine – or in my case, a fizzy drink – and settling down for a little life update..
Kicking off this post on a happy note, I’ve officially been blogging for a year! My first post went live on Father’s Day 2017, and I feel like I’ve come such a long way in the past twelve months – I’m super excited to continue writing, falling more and more in love with blogging, and growing in myself. Here’s to my second, third and many more blog birthdays to follow..
We’ll stick with the topic of blogging, because I’ve been back, uploading regularly for a number of weeks now and I feel like my creative juices are following more now than ever before – I’m constantly thinking of ideas and having to scribble them down before I forget, I’m trying my best to keep up with everyone else’s blogs, and I just feel so motivated about it all!
I’m learning to juggle the change in my work schedule and blogging, because you read right – I’m back working! If you’ve been with me for a little while now, you’ll know that I quit my retail job back in October. I actually quit not knowing what I wanted to do with my life and feeling a little pressured by everyone around me to hurry up and settle down, and I found myself beginning an apprenticeship in PR and Marketing. I realised a few months down the line that I wasn’t happy in myself – in absolutely any way – and after being signed off work with depression and severe anxiety, I eventually left my job.
A couple months of being unemployed, and a course of CBT, I decided to go back into working in retail and my manager was kind enough to welcome me with open arms, and I’m super thankful. Maybe my mental health wasn’t in the right place at the time for a desk job, or maybe a desk job just isn’t right for me as a person but retail allows me to work as many or as few hours as me and my mental health need, and I feel so much better in myself now. I’ve also realised I don’t need to be working every hour under the sun and saving three-quarters of my wage a month and not enjoying myself at all – I’m in absolutely no rush to settle down or buy a house or anything anymore, safe in the knowledge that all of that stuff will come when the time is right. My priority at the moment is being happy..
While I’m on the subject of being happy, I’m sure you’ll have realised from my recent dating app posts that I’m single and have been since the beginning of 2018. I struggled an incredible amount when it first happened, even though it was me that ended it. I genuinely think that anyone that says it being your choice makes the whole thing easier is straight up lying. I felt that for so long, my entire world had been flipped on its head – I suddenly had no plans, and I felt like I had no future either – but a number of months down the line, I’m finally coming to terms with the fact that life goes on and some things just aren’t meant to work out. And while I’m back on the dating app hype, I’m not really ‘looking’ for anything and I’m focusing more on myself..
I’ve realised while writing this post that it genuinely sounds like I’ve had a quarter life crisis or something – maybe that’s what it is, who knows? In a slight spur of the moment decision, I recently got my knee tattooed! I got another mandala, to add to my three existing designs on my arm, which I knew I would love because I think they’re super pretty, and I’m still obsessed with how it turned out. The pain was pretty gnarly in places, but I reckon I sat pretty well, although I wouldn’t say it’s for the faint-hearted. A month or so prior to my knee, I also got my ankles tattooed with the words ‘Have Faith’ which is taken from one of my favourite songs by the band A Day To Remember. I’m super excited as well because I’ve also got another mandala booked for my left arm in July, and the start of a neo-traditional sleeve on my other arm booked for August. I can’t wait to show you them all when they’ve been completed!
“This year is flying” says everyone, all the time, and I feel the exact same way. Lowen was born on the 12th of February, which I’m sure you’ll know if you read about my disappearing act. I feel like a matter of weeks have passed since that happened, when in reality, it’s been four months – which is crazy! He’s growing up so fast, and I love seeing it happen – he’s beginning to sit up, he giggles almost constantly, and we think he might be beginning to teeth soon which is super exciting. My sister sends me pictures daily to ensure I never miss a thing as well and I spend as much time visiting as is physically possible. MyPersonalisedCase recently got in contact, and I jumped at the chance to have a picture of my nephews’ faces in a place I could always see them, so that even if I can’t be with them, they’re always with me – on a personalised phone case..
Their website allows you to make your own phone case, selecting the model of the phone or tablet before adding a design of your own and I am so, so happy with how mine turned out. I chose to put a picture of my eldest nephew holding his baby brother a few days after he was born on the case, because together, they always bring a smile to my face regardless of my mood. However, you can import pictures from a range of other apps, as well as being able to upload your own pictures or choosing one of their designs – I was very tempted to go with the ‘Pugs and Pastries’ design myself which also brought a smile to my face, but I refrained and I’m glad I did because together, my nephews look adorable and I’m super impressed with it overall..
This year definitely hasn’t turned out as I expected at all, and if you’d have asked me twelve months ago when I started blogging, where I saw myself in a year, it wouldn’t be where I am now. I’m happier though, and I’m finally beginning to feel like myself. Not the ‘self’ that I became while in a relationship, not the ‘self’ I tried to force myself to be to make everyone around me happy, but the ‘self’ that I want to be and am happy with, and it’s wonderful. I’m excited to see what will have changed and where I’ll be by July 2019..