I say this as though I’m proud of it, but I’ve used almost every dating app you can possibly imagine – Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Bumble, Hinge. You name it, and I’ve tried it out, almost always out of curiosity more than hoping to find ‘the one’. Tinder can be a pretty murky and confusing place to navigate, at best but it’s where I find myself the most as you’ll know if you’ve read my previous dating posts. I’ve learnt a lot on my dating app travels, and I wanted to impart my wisdom – things that, in my opinion, you should do, and things you absolutely, definitely should not do – when trying to attract the opposite sex..
You should read their bio and look through all of their pictures..
A few too many people – me included, at times – are guilty of swiping right or sending a message having only seen one image, without reading what the other person has written and without looking at their other pictures. Call it ‘love at first swipe’ or being a sucker for anyone that has a dog in their picture, but swiping right having only seen one picture and knowing nothing else can more than often be a dangerous move and can lead to disappointment. In the past, I’ve loved what I’ve seen in the first picture, but have been completely put off by what I’ve read. Simply reading their bio or seeing more than one picture of them can often give you really good conversation starters as well..
But don’t start the conversation in a generic way..
They say that first impressions really do last a lifetime, and through a screen, leaving a lasting impression is made even more difficult. If you send a message that you’d be eager to respond to, you’re more likely to get a response yourself. Break out of the mould – ask about their weirdest date, or what movie their life is most like, or which song would be the soundtrack to their life – and I guarantee, you’re more likely to get a response than with a simple ‘Hey’. This links back to the last point – if you’ve read their bio, you can discuss something they’ve mentioned there to show actual interest..
You should be open about what you’re looking for on the dating app..
Tinder especially is renowned for being a hookup app, but I personally no longer think that can be said. I, for one, know countless people that are in long-term relationships as a result of the app, which is wonderful. Of course, there are still people there looking for a hookup – which is fine – but make your intentions clear from the start, and the same goes for other dating apps as well. If you want a hookup, that’s fine, if you want a relationship, that’s great too, and if you’re not too sure, say that, they’ll understand. If you’re open from the beginning, you can either skip the chit-chat and get straight down to the nitty-gritty, or you can begin to actually get to know one another, safe in the knowledge that they actually care about what you have to say..
And don’t be ridiculously specific about your dream guy or girl..
I know just as well as anyone else that we all have a type, even if we think we don’t. Your type can be as simple as ‘a good sense of humour’ or ‘likes gaming’, or you can have a really specific type, but one of my biggest pet peeves are guys that describe their dream girls in their bio – it’s great to be open about what or who you want, but asking for a “short, blonde haired and blue eyed, skinny girl with big boobs and a good butt who loves drinking and wants to go travelling but also wants to settle down and will be loyal and loves staying in with a takeaway” is just a little crazy. You’ve been so specific that the only things you’ve forgotten are their favourite movie and their blood group. If you set the bar unattainably high from the start, don’t expect to meet anyone, let alone ‘that’ girl..
You should be confident in yourself..
If you’re debating about sending that first message, don’t be afraid. What’s the worst absolute worst that can happen?! They’ll either message you back or they won’t, and that’s literally all of the possible options exhausted. And for all you know, that message could change your life and you could meet the person you spend the rest of your life with. Or, you might not and that’s perfectly okay too – plenty more fish in the sea and all that jazz, no pun intended! My point is, be confident, you never know where you might find yourself..
And most importantly of all, be safe..
This isn’t the whole ‘use protection, you don’t know where they’ve been’ (still important, but I should hope you know that if you’re old enough to be using a dating app) sort of safe, it’s the ‘let someone know where you’re going and with who’ kind of safe, and it’s super important. If you’re going on a date or you’re heading to their place, let a loved one or a friend know where you’re off – I always text my best friend the name of the person I’m with and their car, for example, if we’re driving somewhere, or my location – and it’s better to be safe than sorry, without a doubt. It’s a worst-case scenario, but it’s a scenario none-the-less and it really isn’t worth the risk..
What would you tell someone to do and not do on a dating app? Having you had any dating app mishaps before?